After too many references to “There can only be one!” I finally watched Highlander.  yeah I know, I should have watched it 25 years ago.  I’m late to the party.  So I watched it and it doesn’t make any sense at all.

First of all the highlander is at some kind of pro wrestling event he chops this guy’s head off who apparently likes doing backflips for no reason at all but I’ll forgive the awful fight choreography for now, and after the fight he jumps in his car and runs into the police.

Ok now I am stumped.  You are a 500 year old killer who has experienced all that life has to offer and when you get caught you can a) go back up into the pro wrestling audience, where nobody can find youi or b) run around like a ding dong in your car begging the police to capture you.

So that makes no sense, and that’s a pattern nothing ever makes sense.   There is absolutely no clue that Brenda is into S&M but when she confronts Connor about him being an immortal she is mostly indifferent to his charms but when he stabs himself she finds herself irresistibly attracted to him.  Just makes no sense.  Maybe if they had set it up beforehand that she was a cutter?   There is really no romantic development between Brenda and the highlander.  All the romantic development is between that Heather girl in the distant past.

I like how most of the powers are not really explained, it’s not explained how the quickening works, it’s not explained why or how immortals are made, I’m fine with that because the alternative is a big dose of metachlorians.  But one thing really bugs me.  If at the end, all the immmortals are killed, and the last one left is mortal . . . How on earth did the other immortals learn about the gathering (which is implied has happened several times) how is the quickening discovered.  We know the highlander figured it out because he was taught by Sean Connery and the Kurgan reminds the highlander at one point not to fight in the church by telling him to remember what Ramirez taught him, but how did Ramirez figure it out, someone else taught him, and before that . . . .  There must have been a first highlander but how did he learn about the gathering.   Since this is obviously the first gathering this particular set of immortals has  had (everyone died at the last gathering, right)?  Ok, it doesn’t make sense.  Like the entire movie nothing makes sense.

There is one awful bit of diagloue where Brenda knocks the Kurgan on the head and the highlander says “What took you so long?” and sort of giggles.  Brenda jumps off a 20 foot scaffolding runs to the locked door, breaks in, crosses a 40 foot space all in under 25 seconds.

The Kurgan is the best part of the film.  The highlander is far too serious and too human, he’s just so typical he doesn’t feel like an immortal.  The Kurgan by contrast takes human life for granted, he behaves like an immortal bored to tears and only able to enjoy life a little bit when he’s scaring Brenda so much she faints.   If you have lived for thousands of years unable to die and you still have your sense of humor but it is twisted beyond recognition, yes that sounds like something an immortal might do.  That’s the most realistic part of the film.

Christopher Lambert is just such an awful actor.  I have no idea how this film became a cult classic.  And the repeated “There can be only one” thing gets annoying.  I got it the first time.

What’s good about this movie?  The concept.  The concept is ridiculous.  Immortals who gather to kill each other every few thousand years.  That part is great.  Everything else about this movie sucks and I have no idea how it became a cult classic.

The amount of crap this idea has spawned is incredible

rottentomatoes rating and director

Highlander 1, 67%, Russel Mulcahy

Highlander 2 the quickening, 36% Russell Mulcahy

Highlander 3 the final dimension, 39% Russell Mulcahy

Highlander 4 Endgame 48% Douglas Aarniokoski (friend of Mulcahy worked with him on Resident Evil: Extinction)

Highlander 5 the source 33% Brett Leonard (he directed Lawnmower Man 1992)

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