I only really play chess seriously online but one of my guilty pleasures is watching admins on other games wreck cheaters. Now legit players come in all shapes and sizes. Some are beginners and quickly get bored and quit. Others find they really enjoy the game and buckle down and learn it as well as they can, getting angry with losses and happy when they win. They reflect on their losses and wins. Then there are those who have played the game for 1,000 hours, they have gotten used to losing to better players because unless you are the best in the world there is always someone better than you.

Cheaters are all the same. They cheat and when they cheat they pretend to themselves they are legit. Every single one. I am reminded of those little toy steering wheels you give to your 3 year old when you drive around town. The kid honks his horn and turns his wheel delighted in that he’s “driving” the car. Except of course it’s all pretend. It’s not pretend to the kid though. He thinks he is really doing it. That’s how cheaters are. All of them somehow fool themselves into thinking they are legit while they are cheating. “Headshot!” they cheer. “Checkmate, I did it, I beat a grandmaster!” It’s always the same. Then when they are confronted every single one lies. Not just a little not just “Oh I didn’t cheat,” no they come up with an hour long song and dance, spinning fable after fable and not once, never in 100’s of cheating cases have I ever seen someone who cheats admit “You got me. I couldn’t help it, I like cheating,” they never say that. It’s strange and weird and that’s why I can’t help watching. They are all bad at the game they “play” and always feel like they are gods of the game. They can’t help cheating, they can’t stop cheating and most of all they can’t stop lying and telling stories to themselves about how great they are.

It’s definitely weird. Maybe one day I will see a cheater admit it. “Yes I did it you caught me!” I don’t think so though. If there’s one thing that I know about cheaters it’s how mind numbing alike they are. They all cheat for the same reasons they all lie for the same reasons. It’s because they live in a pretend world where they are some kind of god of cs:go, or rust, or chess, or whatever. I can’t explain exactly why I like watching them, maybe it’s because I can’t get enough of how bad they are at self awareness.